The Moment You Climb Out of the Pit...

Just read this post by Kat at Inspired to Action.

I wanted to leave a comment, and I still might.  But, I realized that I have so much more to add that a mere comment wouldn't relieve my thoughts.

Have I battled fear?  Oh my, yes.

In my family, fear is something that is passed down lovingly from generation to generation.  In much the way you'd inherit a set of silver or a wedding gown, my family will carefully package and gift wrap the bondage of fear and pass it along to you.  You, in turn, are expected to care for it just as sweetly, use it as you are able, and pass it down to your own children.

Have you ever seen Clean House or Hoarders?  It's tough to turn away, because don't we all have those things in our lives that other people would think, "Why on earth are they keeping THAT?"  As evidenced by the shows, apparently some people have quite a bit more than others!  But, we all harbor things in our lives that we've been given, either by well-intentioned or oblivious family members, that we just don't know what to do with.  Throw out Grandma's china that is taking up every available cabinet?  What about the dress that used to fit and still hangs in the closet to remind us of thinner days?

Anytime you attempt to declutter your home, you face difficult decisions about possessions you've acquired.  But, if you think that's tough, go try and declutter your mind.

Granddaddy was an alcoholic...should I have this glass of wine?  My father had a heart attack...is this a pulled muscle or chest pain?  A friend committed suicide due to postpartum depression...should I have another baby?

What's the common denominator?  Fear.  Fear of what might happen to me--my family, my life, my home, my reputation, my career, my marriage, my children.

I've heard it said often that decisions made out of fear will be wrong decisions.  I don't know how many times the Bible says, in a variety of ways, to not be afraid.  But it's in there a lot.  God obviously knows that we struggle with fear.  1 John 4:18 says, "Perfect love drives out fear."  There's only one way to get out from under the cloud of living in fear.  And that's to live in the Light.

For most of my adult life, I've wanted to learn how to prevent living in fear like my ancestors before me.  I don't want to pass it along to my children.  I don't want fear to ever be a consideration when they make a decision.  The answer finally came to me during a project I worked on throughout 2009.

Scripture Memory.

Not elementary Sunday School memory verses that someone else chooses for you.  But, carefully watching for verses that speak specifically to you, meditating on them until they are a part of your heart, and, most importantly, USING them!  The Word of Truth hidden in your heart will, by it's very nature, remind you of what is real.  It reminds you that you are not alone, there is a God who wants what is best for you, and that, no matter what happens, you are going to be ok.

As the year went on, I recited verses anytime I was afraid.  From the time my husband wanted to go bike riding (terrified of that since I broke my arm on, or rather, falling OFF, a bike) to finding out I was pregnant with our second baby (if that doesn't scare you, you're not awake!) to an emergency doctor visit to rule out a miscarriage to being in labor with our sweet Little Lady.  Those and many other instances brought the verses to mind that I'd committed to memory.  Even for someone as obsessed with being in control as I am, it is all the sweeter to know that, not only am I not ever in control, but that it's not up to me.

It's not up to me.

That, my friends, is what fear is all about.  The illusion of control that you maintain, because the thought of losing control makes you crazy.  I remind myself of that daily--sometimes I listen to myself, sometimes I don't!

It's not up to you.